The Gaming Den

I believe that Hasbro doesn't have much direct say in what happens with D&D. Wizards of the Coast, which is owned by Hasbro, is the one that has the most say in what happens to the brand. Hasbro just collects the money at the end of the day. So whatever happens to D&D, it's not Hasbro you should curse. It's WotC.

Of course, I haven't really looked it up, and this is mostly based off of hearsay and my own delusions vaguely informed by a loose reality.

So the protagonist just murders one of his party members with a poisoned drink and then stuffs his body in a bag of holding and throws it in a lake. Awesome outside the box thinking, there.

The SFX is shitty, but the plot is actually pretty good so far. And they're making intelligent use of D&D magic.

Darth Rabbitt wrote: That reminds me of a game where dried ogre penis was a rare and valuable commodity, which we found out after our party's half-ogre fighter tried doing certain things to certain people in town, and he was castrated...

One of the official tutorials for writing NWN quest-mods included an example wherein you recover testicles. I can't remember if it was off the corpse of an NPC or what... but I found it hilarious.

I'll be damned this one shoots up to the second best DnD movie just from the verminlord alone.

Leress wrote:Hahah, I am right watching a scene were the main character is buying items from a magic shop. It is definitely 4th Ed Dungeons and Dragons.

Ye Olde Magick Shoppe? really? i will be watching the encore presentation at 1am/11pm.

as for how to make a D&D movie, well the beholder in the 1st one, the 3.0 iconics in Scrouge of Worlds, mentioning Ghost Tower of Inverness in Dragon God, Raistlins comment about clerical and wizardly magic in Dragonlance.

the key would be to make a D&D movie, that doesnt look like a D&D movie. Hercules, Kull, Xena, Merlin, Seekers, Robin Hood...anything with a primary medieval setting and dropping in D&D rules/monsters and you have a D&D movie.

so far i saw the preview with Pinheads daughter, and hope someone stopped her actions with a simple magnet. does HASBRO think everyone wants to be the deceased Catman, and is into body modification to have a face like a pin-cushion? or a women with a lot of face piercings is supposed to imply she likes having things put inside her?

the minotaur penis movie,...just no. these people need to stop trying to be the new National Lampoons. Van Wilders killed that of, none of these people involved in these type of movies are of the caliber of Belushi, Chase, Eric Idle, etc. current "college humor" it little more than softcore porn boarding on rape movies.

hell for the most part, within the wizarding world, Harry Potter was good for a D&D movie. people just need to distill what D&D is and learn it. Something WotC and HASBRO still does not understand, as proven by trying to always make D&D all things to all people.

codeGlaze wrote:

Juton wrote:[...] So instead of 4 heroes saving the world from an army of evil dragons. have 4 funny idiots trying to loot a dungeon.

As long as it doesn't end up with one of the characters wearing a minotaur's penis around their neck, I'd watch it.

That's ok, minotaur cock gets me to watch it more.

shadzar wrote:
so far i saw the preview with Pinheads daughter, and hope someone stopped her actions with a simple magnet. does HASBRO think everyone wants to be the deceased Catman, and is into body modification to have a face like a pin-cushion? or a women with a lot of face piercings is supposed to imply she likes having things put inside her?

If I remember the published Book of Vile Darkness correctly, piercings are evil. Having a lot of facial piercings is just a way to let everyone know that she's evil.

so far i saw the preview with Pinheads daughter, and hope someone stopped her actions with a simple magnet. does HASBRO think everyone wants to be the deceased Catman, and is into body modification to have a face like a pin-cushion? or a women with a lot of face piercings is supposed to imply she likes having things put inside her?

You just say shit and not think about context, do you?

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Apparently SyFy ( ) is showing the edited version of this movie. There are a couple of scenes edited out of the movie. Mostly nude scenes.

hyzmarca wrote:

shadzar wrote:
so far i saw the preview with Pinheads daughter, and hope someone stopped her actions with a simple magnet. does HASBRO think everyone wants to be the deceased Catman, and is into body modification to have a face like a pin-cushion? or a women with a lot of face piercings is supposed to imply she likes having things put inside her?

If I remember the published Book of Vile Darkness correctly, piercings are evil. Having a lot of facial piercings is just a way to let everyone know that she's evil.

probably not a good thing to base a movie off a MATURE 3PP product from 3rd edition then, cause i surely never read it. it isnt drawing my attention at all. so far the best line in the entire movie was just spoken.

it is better to keep you mouth closed and let everyone think you a fool, than open it and remove all doubt.

the one who said it was no Mark Twain though, and i fear it will be the best line in the whole movie.

The minotaur penis around the neck is in "Your Highness", which is a great movie. Dragons come from "the fuckening", it's pretty epic. You should watch that movie.

Koumei wrote:Or is the idea seriously that they're putting spare change down to hold onto it in case D&D becomes massively popular and they're holding a winner? (Which would first require Hasbro selling the rights to D&D as a game to someone else)

Hollywood does that a lot. Various people and studios option various properties that they have no real idea how to make into a movie just in case some funding or an upsurge in popularity comes around later. The process for getting film rights is sometimes complicated. But the important thing to realize is that if you don't have the rights to a property, there is zero chance of you getting the go-ahead to make a film.

And of course, fads are pretty bizarre. Housewives turn out to like some pretty kinky shit, which is why the current "big things" are apparently vampires and spousal abuse. I would not have predicted that. I doubt a lot of people did. But everyone who was sitting on vampire and romance novel properties in the last five years has been making giant stacks of Benjamins.

Of course, people let rights expire all the time as well. Fox just let the Daredevil rights return to Marvel/Disney by not making a new Daredevil movie in time. But they kept the X-Men franchise by making all those stupid X-spinoffs.

-Username17

FrankTrollman wrote:
And of course, fads are pretty bizarre. Housewives turn out to like some pretty kinky shit, which is why the current "big things" are apparently vampires and spousal abuse. I would not have predicted that. I doubt a lot of people did. But everyone who was sitting on vampire and romance novel properties in the last five years has been making giant stacks of Benjamins.


-Username17

The paranormal romance boom seems to be an offshoot of fantasy popularity.

And I honestly don't think that vein's going to be tapped out any time soon. Considering the reams of folklore and general Weird Shit people have come up throughout the ages, there's plenty of weird corners of legendry to trawl through. Vampires and werewolves are about done, so now someone's going to move on to ghosts. Or fairies. Or the Starspawn of Cthulhu. Or ninjas.

So expect to hear about The New Twilight every three to five years. For a while.

Maxus wrote:so now someone's going to move on to ghosts. Or fairies.

Fairy tales seem to be the current big thing - there's the Once Upon a Time series, and the film about... I think Snow White and the Huntsman. People in general want to re-Grimmify childhood tales and that includes fairies as well as witches.

Yeah, the Lord of the Rings movies opened up ground for the big studios doing live-action fantasy.

Koumei wrote:

Maxus wrote:so now someone's going to move on to ghosts. Or fairies.

Fairy tales seem to be the current big thing - there's the Once Upon a Time series, and the film about... I think Snow White and the Huntsman. People in general want to re-Grimmify childhood tales and that includes fairies as well as witches.

this is in part probably to people trying to fight Disney, and their money, and not doing well to prevent the shenanigans that are current copyright laws. Disney doesn't own Alice In Wonderland, but since they put out a movie and got copyright for it, then lobbied for death+150 years of copyright, they have the ONLY rights to make movies, under current law, even though the work it was derived from (which isnt allowed by copyright law), is in the public domain.

same for Snow White, and Aesop fables, Grimm fairy tales, etc. that Disney has made a movie for. so these fairy tale movies are doing the best it can to fight Disney, and show that the populace wishes to overturn Disneys rights and change the copyright laws....but of course rather than do what the populace wants, the government is protecting corporations, not the people that put them in office. ergo USA trying to force its copyright laws in Japan, and go against creator wishes to allow for published and sold fan comics and such derived from the artists original work.

Notice too a difference in Japan, that stories dont last as long. Superman would have died over 40 years ago there, to be replaced with something new as people get tired of the same thing, so want something new, thus why Astroboy isnt still being written or drawn. Japan has the original copyright idea the US created that protects the creators 1st, not the publishes that have the printing presses, or the studios that air a motion picture of the creation.

People got tired of aliens, predators, etc, and had to find something else. the decade of Harry Potter and Twilight, gave rise to an interest in folklore again also, for a new generation.

as people say retro happens, and things come back around every 30 years, and this is because a new generation wishes to experience the things they have heard people speak fondly of.

but this BoVD wannabe Game of Thrones movie just sucked. there was NEVER a need for a sex scene in an D&D movie, as it is one thing people dont all include in the games, and one reason the random harlet table disappeared. sex is like the word derived from it, and once and either way you drop the F-bomb, you cant take it back. put bluntly they fucked up by allowing this movie to go anywhere outside of the cutting room floor.

the story was terrible, the acting was bad, and the deus ex machina ending FROM BOTH SIDES, was stupid. the french (was it french?) animated movie Dragonhunters was something i would have considered more appropriate for D&D than this eBerron movie.

wasnt Shadar-kai from and created for eBerron? im glad i didnt buy this movie or even see it to buy, and glad it wont appear on TV again for a very long time.

leave the sex for Martin and HBO, and get a writer of his caliber to make a movie without fucking in it, and then you would have a decent starting place for a movie. Colour of Magic was 100 times better than BoVD.

Maxus wrote:So expect to hear about The New Twilight every three to five years. For a while.

So apparently the next twilight is going to be about Demons and Demon Hunters, and witches, and there will be some vampires, but they are less important than the werewolves in twilight.

Also there will be incest that is not really incest. And they save themselves for marriage.

FrankTrollman wrote:Housewives turn out to like some pretty kinky shit, which is why the current "big things" are apparently vampires and spousal abuse. I would not have predicted that. I doubt a lot of people did. But everyone who was sitting on vampire and romance novel properties in the last five years has been making giant stacks of Benjamins.

Have you people learned nothing from World of Darkness's inexplicable popularity?

Kaelik wrote:

Maxus wrote:So expect to hear about The New Twilight every three to five years. For a while.

So apparently the next twilight is going to be about Demons and Demon Hunters, and witches, and there will be some vampires, but they are less important than the werewolves in twilight.

Also there will be incest that is not really incest. And they save themselves for marriage.

You know? As long as they don't mask spousal abuse as bdsm or any kind of a good relationship, and don't do anything particularly stupid with the supernaturals (read: predatory creatures of darkness that sparkle and bemoan their awesome powers), I'm ok with that. Saving oneself for marriage is a dumb, but perfectly valid choice that other people make.
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I downloaded the new D&D movie. Checking the file just to make sure it's the right thing, the five minute intro interspersed with credits makes it more of a D&D movie than the last two, just on the strength of Graz'zt showing up (in line art literally lifted directly from the illustration in the Book of Vile Darkness), and things that are recognizably D&D paladins and demons (even if not recognizable devotions or types, they just have the right look).

Leress wrote:Apparently SyFy ( ) is showing the edited version of this movie. There are a couple of scenes edited out of the movie. Mostly nude scenes.

Because I cannot resist the challange of nudity, I am willing to overlook the badness of this movie. Where can I see an unedited version?

Shrapnel wrote:

Leress wrote:Apparently SyFy ( ) is showing the edited version of this movie. There are a couple of scenes edited out of the movie. Mostly nude scenes.

Because I cannot resist the challange of nudity, I am willing to overlook the badness of this movie. Where can I see an unedited version?

Google's your friend.

Actually, Google and I have a long standing love/hate/love/brotherly-kind-of-feeling-that-sometimes-get-kinda-weird relationship going on, and I have recently not earned his love when I shot a live turkey into his aunts lap this Thanksgiving, but I might as well use this as an opportunity to patch things up for now.

Prak_Anima wrote: I downloaded the new D&D movie. Checking the file just to make sure it's the right thing, the five minute intro interspersed with credits makes it more of a D&D movie than the last two, just on the strength of Graz'zt showing up (in line art literally lifted directly from the illustration in the Book of Vile Darkness), and things that are recognizably D&D paladins and demons (even if not recognizable devotions or types, they just have the right look).

I think Book of Vile Darkness is a pretty good example of how non-retarded DMs do a fallen paladin plot.

Oh man, I watched this with the in-laws in a siphylus channel marathon last night. I didn't even know it was a new movie release or anything.

First I watched the last hour of the "Wrath of Khan" movie. At least that's what I think it was -- the TV couldn't display the whole title, just "Dungeons & Dragons: Wrath of", so I assumed it ended it Khan. Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised -- there were three hot chicks, and lots of old school antics like getting stuck in the furniture when you teleport. Nothing made any sense and it was all really hilarious. Hope the guys don't decide to rebuild their town next to a fucking monster prison next time!

Then we saw the new movie. I decided it was better to not watch any of the 15 minutes of exposition and all and left the room -- when I came back I had my sister in law explain what happened. She said that this dude asked a rock to like him, but the rock thought he sucked and didn't like him and the dude got pissed off. Fair enough.

It was kinda disappointing though. There was only one hot chick, and she only got about 30 seconds of screen time, so that was pretty much a wasted two hours. Also I think the "protagonist's cock has magic healing powers" cliche has been done to death at this point and needs to go away. The bug dude was fucking sweet though. The movie ended with yet another nonsensical deus ex machina but I think at this point I'm so used to it that I'd be offended if that sort of thing didn't happen. The whole bit with the bag of holding was pretty good outside-the-box thinking though. You can tell that at least the writer played D&D at some point and thought about those things.

Surgo wrote:First I watched the last hour of the "Wrath of Khan" movie. At least that's what I think it was -- the TV couldn't display the whole title, just "Dungeons & Dragons: Wrath of", so I assumed it ended it Khan.

I'm no expert, but isn't WoK a Star Trek movie?

there were three hot chicks
...
(Next movie) There was only one hot chick, and she only got about 30 seconds of screen time, so that was pretty much a wasted two hours.

This is important - D&D movies should stick to the Nerd Porn thing that the covers of D&D books used to do. Which is why an Underdark (Mezzowhatthefuckistan) movie would be cool. Except that you can't have a movie with a bunch of heroes who are all black, so it would be four or five white heroes wandering into an underground city full of evil black people (with a hatred of clothing), which might be a little bit racist.

Also I think the "protagonist's cock has magic healing powers" cliche has been done to death at this point and needs to go away.

In the general sense, yes. But there is some comedy mileage to be had out of having a literal wang of Cure Moderate Wounds, complete with limited charges.

Koumei wrote:In the general sense, yes. But there is some comedy mileage to be had out of having a literal wang of Cure Moderate Wounds, complete with limited charges.

Wasn't that the plot of a Will Smith "Don't type cast me into comedy" drama?

Koumei wrote:I'm no expert, but isn't WoK a Star Trek movie?

That's the joke.

I have since looked up the title; it is actually "Wrath of the Dragon God", which is substantially less awesome.